I Ain't Grown, I'm Married!

My Sweetie and I will be celebrating our anniversary soon. When we married, the minister who officiated asked that we send her a card, every year, on our anniversary. We're supposed to tell her how we're doing.

This always puts me in a reflective mood as I try to think of what to write. What comes to mind is a fight we had early in our marriage. The point is not that we had a fight, but how we've taken that episode and turned it into one of our marriage-isms. You know, those things you say/do in your marriage that usually only have meaning to the two of you.

Early in our marriage we had a HUGE fight because we weren't speaking the same language. Thankfully, time has dulled my memory, but I do remember that I asked him a question about where he was going and he gave some vague, unsatisfactory answer. Now, I wasn't clockin' him, I was just concerned (for real!). He, however, interpreted my questions as intrusive. Our exchange went something like this:

Him (upset): I don't have to tell you because I'm grown!

Me (upset): Ok. But you cannot be grown and be married to me! We're married and we do have some accountability to one another. You can't just walk out like you're still single!

After a few hours had passed (y'all know how we can be), I had something else to say.

Me: Since you're so grown, we're going to change the way we do some stuff around here. There are some things grown folk need to be doing for themselves.

Among the things I would be relinquishing was the scheduling of doctor appointments. So, I propped his medical card up in his computer keyboard. I went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, the card was stuck in my keyboard. I put it back in his keyboard.

The next day, he put it on my keyboard; I put it back on his keyboard. This went on for the better part of a week. I have never said that either of us has good sense!

Finally, exasperated, he says, "What do you want me to do?" I look him in the eye and say,"I want you to say, 'I ain't grown, I'm married'". Now, to this day, I have absolutely no idea why such a ridiculous phrase popped into my mind, but it did.

Him (tentatively): I ain't grown. I'm married.

Me: You don't mean it.

Him (more firmly): I ain't grown. I'm married.

Me (smirking): Still not good enough.

Him (louder): I ain't grown, I'm married!

Me (holding in a laugh): You sound like you're starting to mean it.

Him (LOL): I AIN'T GROWN, I'M MARRIED!

Me (LOL): I AIN'T GROWN, I'M MARRIED, TOO!

All I do remember, clearly, is both of us laughing until our sides hurt. Since then, it is not uncommon to hear one of us casually say to each other or even other people, I ain't grown, I'm married.

That goofy, simple, phrase, born out of an argument, has come to signify our accountability to one another. So, we check in with each other, we talk to each other before we make plans, we call when we're running late.

I was single and grown for a long time, but now, I ain't grown, I'm married!

Happy Anniversary, Sweetie!