. . .if you want to be my boyfriend! When I was single (thank God I'm not), that was my #1 rule for dating. No broke bruthas for this sistah! No apologies. No excuses. I don't care if you think I'm shallow. That's just how it had to be. I had other rules, but this was #1.
This economy may have made me re-think my position when you consider, "Men held nearly 80% of jobs lost since December 2007". I know a relationship isn't all about how much a person makes, but in the very beginning, having a job is pretty important. That's not to say every date has to be a big production. Having less money to spend just forces you to be creative.
"Date Night" has been part of our routine since we first married. Sometimes it is a big production. But most often, it's as simple as packing some snacks, loading up the lawn chairs, and heading to the beach. There's something quite romantic about sitting side-by-side, outstretched bare feet touching, watching the ocean. Sometimes we talk; or just listen to the sounds of the sea. Sometimes, we laugh at the sea gulls; and at the kids who get knocked over by the waves. But we always enjoy being together.
When I was unemployed, it was a very difficult time for me. It was hard for me to distinguish between 'who I am' versus 'what I do'. I would imagine it's even more difficult for a man. When dating, traditionally, he's expected to woo the woman and finance the whole operation. Unemployment has got to be a blow to his ego.
If I were still dating (my husband doesn't allow me to) I think I would bend the rule, but I would definitely expect a man to bring his A-game in terms of thinking creatively. Conversely, ladies, we need adjust our expectations of what constitutes a 'date'. Maybe 'dinner and a movie' mean cooking together at home and Netflix.
During good economic times, dating is challenging. I definitely don't envy my single friends, now. I think my rule is a good one, but here's something else to consider: Dating should be less about matching outward circumstances than meeting your inner necessity.
hmm, were you thinking specifically about me? :P I hear yah...loud and clear. Very wise words, my friend. You're like a blog expert now! I just checked out your other one too! WOW!!
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