She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister

Women NEED girlfriends.  Without them, we're like newborn babies who've never been touched:  we don't thrive. 

I've long thought women suffer from the Women's Disease.  Symptoms of the Women's Disease include:

1. Being incredibly hard on one's self.
2. Fixating on the tiniest of flaws; real or imagined.
3. Possessing an incredible sense of dissatisfaction with one's output.
4. Not saying, "No".
5. Not realizing our worth -- we are like precious rubies
6. Being smart, but making poor decisions

We need our girlfriends to tell us when we're suffering with a case of Women's Disease.  For obvious reasons, I'm not going to name names, but one particularly accomplished friend was beating herself up and ready to quit a program she was working on because she wasn't "contributing".  Incredulously, I asked, "Are you sh------ me?"  You've done. . . and. . .and. . ., and you think you're not contributing?

In her mind, because she hadn't done one thing -- she was not contributing.  Thankfully, I think she heard me and will stop fixating on that one, singular, omission and focus on all the many ways in which she has contributed to the program.

Another friend is in love (lust??) with a guy who has told her he's not interested in a stable relationship.  She's going to change him.  Why do otherwise intelligent women always think they're going to change him?

Women need to have a core group of women friends whom they can rely on to give them a dose of reality.  I'm not talking about casual acquaintances.  I'm talking about friends who know the truth and will take it to the grave with them.  Friends who will tell you the brutal truth in the most loving, supportive, and positive way.  Friends who will stay stone cold sober, while you drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine or shots of Tequila.  Friends who will, genuinely, rejoice when you excel. 

If you're a woman and you don't have at least one friend like that. . .I don't even know what to say.  One of the greatest blessings of my life is being loved by other woman.  I have been abundantly blessed that I have 3-4 core friends and I'm madly in love with each of them. 

Here are just a few ways in which we love one another:

We rejoice for one another.  When I call my best friend and tell her my good news, her joy is unselfish.  It is as if my wonderful event has happened to her.

We encourage one another.  A friend was having a bad day at work and called me because she knew I would raise her spirits.  I'm honored to do that for her.

We support one another.  Years ago, I did something really stupid. When I called a friend for help, she said, "Sandra, you are the most rational person I know.  If you think you made a mistake, I will help you fix it."  No questions asked.

We keep each other's secrets.  Enough said.   

We tell each other the truth.  Yes, your butt does look big in that!  And, I will not let you go out looking less than your very best.  I may make fun of you, but nobody else will.

We share wisdom with one another.  "Now, baby. . ." when one of my friends begins with those words, I know something good is coming.  I'm all too willing to learn from her life experiences, minimize my own suffering, and maximize my own happiness.

We forgive each other. 

The Bible warns us against not having friends in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 -- Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!